clyde crimefighter

let's make post!

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 05:43:22 GMT

listen here! i have not retired! i am waiting for you to contact me so i can make fun of you! tell me what's on your mind! ask me some questions! let me predict the outcome of an event in your life! what's happening! why isn't anyone sending me material!

stop asking me to give up my account! that will never happen!

clyde predicts!

Wed, 13 Aug 2003 04:07:44 GMT

hello friends! i think it is about darn time that i start posting here again! now let me tell you about a new feature called "clyde predicts"!

you reply to this journal entry and tell me about something that is going to happen! and i will predict the outcome for you! give me enough detail so i can make an informed guess and/or decision!

i'm sure that this will be hilarious! at least for me!

can it!

Thu, 11 Oct 2001 03:42:57 GMT

dear humans!

congratulations on your piece of shit civilization!

coffee is crime!

Wed, 20 Jun 2001 16:17:23 GMT

coffee is crime! i had coffee yesterday evening, and it made me sleep horribly and wake up with an upset stomach! i knew that coffee could make me sick, but i couldn't give it up anyway! and now i must pay! i mean, i already paid two dollars and twenty cents for the latte! i'm not that kind of criminal!

i can't shave today!

Tue, 19 Jun 2001 23:05:25 GMT

since there is a sensitive sore on the side of my face, i decided to not shave today so it would have a chance to recover! this makes me look like one of those scruffy guys! i don't want to look like that! it's okay for other people to look like that though! but i'd rather shave today! do you know what i mean! having one day of facial hair growth is a crime!

have a nice day!

nobody cares!

Tue, 19 Jun 2001 08:48:20 GMT

i am making this livejournal thing because nobody cares what i am up to! my life has not been as full of crime recently as it has historically been! how many grammatical errors can you spot in the previous sentence! yes, i am quizzing you! i wonder how foul-mouthed i can be on this site! because i want to tell you a story about some assholes that pissed me off recently, but i don't want to violate any fucking rules, if you know what i mean! so anyway! i've been sick recently and i am now feeling better! also: i'm going on vacation very soon! then i'm going back to work! it's going to be fantastic! more on that later! have a great day!